


Thanksgiving Special

by AspenDrake



Series: Points of Confusion [4]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 03:50:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12808989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AspenDrake/pseuds/AspenDrake
Summary: The group sits down for a Thanksgiving meal... After preparing it, of course. And what fun is it when you don't find a metal arm in your turkey? : D





	Thanksgiving Special

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little Thanksgiving short, instead of the usual update. Enjoy, and I hope you have a good holiday! : D

“Caboose, you touch that turkey and I will gut you!” Church snarled, holding the large carving knife threateningly. As usual, the taller man didn’t listen, grabbing a leg and biting into it.

“Church! This is very good!” Caboose cheered. In a couple more bites, the entire leg was gone except for the bone. Church sighed and looked helplessly at Wash and Carolina. The two snickered at his misfortune.

“We told you to make one just for Caboose, but you wanted to prove how tough you are,” Carolina snickered. Church shot her a baleful look before smirking.

“Hey, Caboose,” he muttered. The taller man leaned down, staring expectantly. 

“Yes, Church?” he asked. Church muffled a snicker.

“Wash and Carolina told me if you could pick them both up and dump them in the outside trash bin, I can read you two stories tonight,” he whispered. Caboose’s eyes lit up before he charged Wash and Carolina. The two shrieked and started flailing, Carolina far harsher than Wash. Of course, Caboose wasn’t even fazed, easily toting them outside and dropping them in the large trash bin. He shot back inside, beaming at Church.

“I did it!” he cheered. “Now I can have two stories tonight!” Church snickered.

“Yep,” he agreed. Any further response was cut off when Carolina stormed inside, covered in trash.

“CHURCH!” she roared. Wash wasn’t far behind her. 

“Why?” he whined. Church snickered at him.

“You wanted me to prove how tough I am,” he answered, still giggling. “I just had some help.” Wash slumped as Carolina screamed wordlessly, turning to punch a wall. She turned too far, though, and hit Wash. The younger man yelped before throwing his own punch back. 

Church turned away from the budding war to tend to the ham still in the oven.

“Man, I hope the others are having just as much trouble”, he groaned. Caboose walked off, presumably to go find Tucker and, inevitably, get mentally scarred. There was a reason Church never went in the darker man’s room. He sighed again as Caboose screamed in horror and Tucker yelled in anger.  
___________  
“Okay, now how long do I stick the yams in the oven for?” Simmons asked. Grif shrugged, adding butter and brown sugar to the bottom of his pan. Finishing that, he placed pineapple slices and cherries to the bottom. Finally, he added some yellow cake batter.

“I don’t know. Hey, I need the oven for 20 minutes or so at 350 degrees,” he grunted, nudging Simmons off to the side. He opened the oven, ignoring Simmons’ squawking, and shoved the cake inside. 

“Oh, hush. They’ve been in there for almost an hour. Honestly, they’re probably just about done,” Grif huffed. He straightened up and grabbed an oven mitt, pulling the dish of yams out. He grabbed a nearby fork and poked one. The tines sank through the slice. 

“See, they’re done,” he told the taller man. Simmons bopped him on top of his head. He grunted, but moved away. Sarge picked that moment to run into the small kitchen.

“Alright! How are my apple pies coming along?” the older man asked, shoving past the two others. He opened the oven and grabbed his two pies out one at a time with his bare hands.

“Uhh, Sarge?” Grif began. Sarge looked at him, still holding one of the pies. Grif motioned helplessly to the pie. Slowly, Sarge looked down… and yelped, almost dropping his pie. Hastily, he set it on the counter.

“Great googly moogly!” he shouted. “This must be the work of those diabolical… uhh…” He trailed off, thinking about who he needed to blame.

“Aww, going senile in your old age, huh?” Donut asked. “Don’t worry, I know some great techniques that you can practice in bed!” The blonde man was forced to duck as Simmons flung a glass baking dish through the space where his head just was.

“Temper, temper!” he scolded. Simmons replied with his metallic limb going through the same space. 

“I thought you were going to need that hand later, when you’re unwinding in your room,” Donut babbled. Simmons yelled in absolute rage. Grif choked and started sputtering. Sarge just watched everything in shock. Lopez walked in and turned right back around, marching outside. Doc just held up a dish of mashed potatoes, setting them on the counter and starting on pumpkin pies. Sister pulled Grif’s cake out and started mashing some taro roots, chattering with Doc and Donut.

Simmons finally calmed down enough to notice how crowded the kitchen was. 

“Is everyone in here?!” he shrieked. Sister laughed at him.

“No, your robot dude turned around and left. I don’t know why he was in here, but you all were too busy making noise. That yelling was kinda hot,” she grinned.

“Yeah. Wait, what?!” Grif exclaimed. Sister snickered, adding some water to her bowl. 

“Hey, if your food is done, take it over to the others. They have the bigger dining room,” Doc squeaked. He grabbed his mashed potatoes and shoved the pumpkin pie in the fridge to solidify. Grif picked up his cake. Donut picked up Simmons’ arm, but before he could pass it to the taller man, Sarge handed him one of the apple pies. The older man lifted the other pie and walked out of the building, marching over to where the other half of their group lived.  
________  
With a little bit of shuffling, all the trays eventually made it to the blue-painted building. There was a massive scare when Simmons’ arm showed up inside the turkey. Church had gone to slice into one of the roasted birds. Everyone was confused when a metallic clang rang out. Carolina slowly reached over and reached into it. Everyone screamed as she pulled out Simmons’ arm. Tucker had all but scaled his son, crouching on his shoulders. Caboose had picked Church up protectively. Wash was on the ceiling, hanging upside down. Simmons was behind Grif. Donut and Doc had gone under the table. Lopez had gone backwards and tipped his chair. Finally, Sarge had drawn his shotgun and was aiming it at the metal limb.

“Well,” Carolina began. “Who wants to explain this one?” Sarge, Lopez, Grif, Simmons, and Doc pointed hastily at Donut, who smiled sheepishly. 

“Long story,” he offered. She snorted, but handed Simmons his arm back. 

“Need a hand?” she asked dryly. Simmons started grumbling as he set the arm on the floor. Slowly, everyone returned to their seats. 

“Hey, I need help!” Wash called. The group looked up. 

“How… How is that-?” Simmons cut himself off, shaking his head. Caboose set Church down and walked to stand under Wash. He held his arms out.

“Okay, Washingtub! You can fall down now!” he chirped. Wash glanced down, and slowly let go. He landed in Caboose’s arms, not even making the taller man grunt. 

“Thanks, Caboose,” he chuckled. The tall man set him down and trotted back to his seat.

“Should we say what we’re thankful for?” Doc asked. Church shrugged.

“I’m thankful we’re all still alive,” he commented. “And that we all got to meet.” Everyone nodded.

“I think that goes for all of us,” Carolina agreed. With that said, the group started eating. Notable moments included Grif and Sister throwing poi at everyone, Simmons actually attacking Donut, Doc attempting to break up the fight, Sarge firing his shotgun wildly into the air, the police arriving, Wash getting stuck on the ceiling again, Caboose inviting the police to eat with them, and Carolina punching Sarge to make him stop. Otherwise, it was a fairly normal meal.

Except for when Caboose got fed up with one of the officers and threw him outside from where he was sitting.

**Author's Note:**

> I kid you not, I don't want to even move. I just want to sleep. Since I have more stuff to take care of tomorrow, I'm typing the update for 'Points of Confusion'. Hopefully, I get it up at a decent time. If not, I'm very sorry and I'll upload it early the next morning.


End file.
